Bittersweet, always confusing

My day actually started yesterday. I couldn't remember if it was June 30 or July 1st. I didn't want to get up if it was July 1st. I was so relieved when it was June 30 but then spent the day not wanting the day to end. July 1st was my Auntie Patty's birthday and she's not here this year to celebrate her 70th. As I was driving home tonight I couldn't stop thinking about her because I was driving home from close to where she'd lived. I started to talk to her about just everything I was thinking. How grateful I am that she's in peace and no longer in pain. How angry I am that she was taken from us way too soon. I don't regret (as if I had a choice) that she got sick. Her getting sick made my mom get off her rear and get her skin cancer treated finally. Her illness got me and her granddaughter back on the right track together again. We'd not spoken for a number of years but now we're good and I thank Patty and God for that! I just wish beyond any hope that she'd gotten sick then healed!! You know?!

I truly think about her every single day. I never would have thought I would. It amazes me how much I think about her and thought about her and didn't realize it. I took for granted that she was here. I now notice how much I thought about her as she's no longer with us and it hurts so much. She could be a pain in the ass with her opinions on things but you know, at some point, eventually, I think she was right about everything! She was always giving her unsolicited advice to me and as much as I may not have wanted to hear it I always knew it was with and because of love! I miss her love. I was telling her too that I wish I had the faith to really believe that she knew herself, her past, her loved ones and was watching us and knowing how much she was loved and missed. That one day we all will be reunited again with each other and Jesus. I have faith in being with Jesus, I don't have faith that I'll "know" who I was and who you were to me. I so want to believe we are in peace with loved ones in heaven.

The other part of my bittersweet. I took Joey into the eye doctor tonight as he'd been complaining about not being able to see at a distance. I had the pediatrician check him out at his 5yr old well check and we couldn't tell if he couldn't see or just didn't test well. (see previous Eye Sight post)

My friend Kela referred us to America's Best. I think it's new to our area. I found a place up in Oak Creek. I was a little leery about how they'd do taking care of kids but was assured by Kela whom lives in SC and our friend Nikki from CO that they took care of a lot of kids and were good. They have awesome prices which is why I wanted to go there. We have vision insurance on Jim and I only. Who would have thought we'd need it for the kids so soon?! I sure didn't so I saved us a measly few bucks to not add the kids onto it. What a mistake!!

So, my decision was I'd take him to this place for now and then in January when I get him onto the vision plan I'll take him to a pedi ophthalmologist to get a recheck. Turns out that Joey has a moderate astigmatism. This optometrist was very nice and really made me feel better about taking him to her. She told me he can see but he's blurry with the astigmatism. I can get him glasses or wait it out but either way I should probably take him in to a pedi ophthalmologist to get it double checked since they have tests that she doesn't! She believes what Joey told her and that he did a decent job with my help but being only 5yrs old they'd have better equipment to get a more concrete "diagnosis" on him. I told her about the insurance issue and asked if I got him the glasses now is it ok to wait until January to get him into the ophthalmologist? She said absolutely. I don't "have" to get him glasses now even since he can see but she'd advise it and if the ophthalmologist give him a different prescription then we can just change his lenses and it would fall under the warranty so it would be free!

So that is what we did. He got 2 pairs of glasses plus the extended warranty on them for $84.95 and the exam was free! I don't remember exactly what she said but I think he's got 40/20 vision in one eye and 60/20 vision in the other and both are correctable to 20/20 with the glasses. He will need to wear the glasses all the time. He picked them both out with my help of course. He got one "nice" pair and one "fun" pair. He looks adorable in them both! He was excited to get them... I hope that carries over into wearing them as well. LOL

The bittersweet part is while glasses are by no means the end of the world, it's just another thing for kids at school to use to pick with. I am such a basket case not wanting my boys to experience the childhood I did with all the bullies I went to school with. I work so hard to keep them thin without making food an issue. I do NOT want them a part of the clean plate club. No one in my family who is a part of the clean plate club is thin! I want them to be able to walk away from food but at the same time it's so hard to get toddlers and preschoolers to eat anything. *sigh* At the same time, just one more thing for me to worry about. Where are they, are they safe. Keeping the younger boys from destroying them is going to be the end of me. I'm going to have to break some butts the first time they even attempt to abuse Joey's glasses.

I think, Auntie Patty would have some good advice for me or some calm reassuring words. I wish I could her them, whatever they are.

His glasses will be in in about 7-10 business days. They will call ... I will post pictures :)

I love you Auntie Patty, miss you every day.
I love you Joey, you are such a big boy and so darn cute in the glasses you picked out!!!